… Being pregnant.
This story begins a few summers back when Steve & I were living in Norway. In the summer of 2009 we lived in the small town of Bodo Norway, north of the Arctic Circle. It was an amazing place where the sun never set (from late June to early Aug) and the air was pure. The clouds were more amazing than you could ever imagine. I’ve never known such beauty in all of my life.
However, our time there was lonely. More specifically, I had a hard time being away from friends and family. We were on a totally different time schedule…7 hours ahead of all of our friends and family which made it really difficult to communicate via skype. I turned to social media to meet my “social needs.” I read lots of blogs & spent hours reading facebook statuses.
To my dismay, these actions often made me feel worse rather than better. You see, at that time in my life, I was really really really wanting to start trying to get pregnant. But it just wasn’t the right time. I cried daily. It seemed like every time I signed on to FB another person was announcing their big news or posting something about a pregnancy craving, baby kicking, ultrasound appointment attending, baby being born occasion. As much as I wanted to be joyful for my friends and acquaintances, it was difficult to see past my own selfish desires. Reading the posts did not put me in a Godly state of mind…rather, it offered the devil a place to get a foothold in my life and torture my thoughts.
Fast-forward to today…Praise God, I’m pregnant yet FB can still reek havoc on my life. In an effort to be complete transparent, I will tell you that I read status & compare myself to others. Stupid & silly but true. That is not healthy nor is it what God desires for me. I was wonderfully made. I need to rest in that truth.
Even more importantly…I still have many friends that struggle with infertility, miscarriage, and loss. I don’t want them to feel like I did when I was in Norway. It’s just not fun. So I don’t often blog or post about pregnancy and the joys and tribulations that it brings. I save those thoughts & commentaries for my mom or friends who ask.
Why don’t I often blog about being pregnant… because I don’t want my joy to be anyone else’s pain.